I'm afraid to go to my endocrinologist. I might even find a new one, so I don't have to see mine again. I have not seen him for a year, when I was supposed to come back after 3 months. I couldn't afford the co pay, for the visit, or for the thyroid meds. I am sure that at least part of my depression is because my thyroid is out of whack. I know I feel better when I do take synthroid, but I am embarrassed that I can't even afford the co pay. And, even if I could, I'd have to take the kids, which the Dr. hates. He is single, and has no kids, so he has no realistic idea of what my life is like. He told me I should work out for 2 HOURS everyday. At the point he told me that, I had a 4 week old baby, a toddler, & a 9 year old. when was I going to fit 2 hours in? Oh, I could have given up the 4 hours of sleep a night I was getting total. Not that I get much more now, but now they are usually in a row, instead of in 40 minute increments :) . I know I need to work out, and I try. But, since I feel so crappy, it is hard to get motivated, evn though I know excersize helps you feel better. What I am going to try & do is have the office call in a blood test & prescription for me, then start taking meds again. As I feel a bit better, I will add more movement to my daily routine. I have already been trying to eat better, more veggies, & less junk. I need to lose 60-70 lbs. Even that will leave me overweight, but much more towards healthy. Surprisingly, my Blood sugar is fine, my heart is fine, my cholesterol is fine. I am healthy, even thought I am fat, & out of shape. I'm depressed, but I'll be ok. I've been through this before, I'll go through it again. Even though I am stressed with the kids, they are my reason for living, for getting out of bed everyday. If I didn't have them, I would have self destructed a long time ago.