I keep telling myself that it won't get any worse, but then it does. I'm not sleeping, my 4 yr old is having nightmares. For the last 4 nights, I have been up every 30 minutes or so with screaming. He won't tell me what is wrong, he just whines. He won't sleep with me either, so that is out. I am tired. I feel guilty for the miscarriage, as I really did not want another baby. I know it's not my fault, but maybe if I had been happier, instead of crying, I'd still be pregnant. But honestly, I would go crazy with another child. I can barely handle the ones I have. I fell like I am a bad mom, because I am so sad all the time. I want to be happy with my kids, but I am just overwhelmed. I can not wait until they are all in school all day, so I can work, & be around adults all day. I was going to put them in daycare, but I would end up bringing home less money than I do now. Also, if I went back full time, I would be required to work Saturdays, and I don't have anyone who can take the kids them. So, I'm stuck at home, dealing with everything the best I can right now. I wil ltry & write more when I am not so damn tired